Doobjank

Hypothetically, if marijuana was legalized in the US and they imposed a “Munchies Tax” on items that don’t normally sell well to fund everything else, what item would be on the list? Corn Nuts, 500% increase in price. You’d have to be stoned to want to destroy your teeth with rocks.Funyuns too!Candy corn anytime between December 1st to September 30th. No tax around holidays!

WIP: All US Citizens or legal residents have access to the same education resources until the age of 18, or graduates from high school. Basic education will cover the same standard topics, including life lessons. Math classes will also teach how to budget. Teachers will be empowered in all cases to raise alarms for anything detrimental. Schools will have cameras in each classroom with Security Guards constantly monitoring and psychologists able to monitor as needed, like during a topic that could be triggering.

After High School, free two year college for the basics or a trade school. This is not mandatory, but that’s all the money would be good for. Even if someone doesn’t decide to continue their degree, having an educated population is a good thing. After the two years, standard available grants and loans, with bonuses based on majors.
Example: I want to continue my education to become a teacher. They government is currently trying to bulk up the education system, so they agree to finance the rest of my degree in exchange for two years teaching in a public school. That sounds way better to me than the $56,000 my kids are going to have to pay off someday!

True stuff: 11/5/2020 from Facebook
1. I’ve never eaten White Castle. Not even the microwave ones.
2. I have eaten and enjoyed poutine.
3. New England Clam Chowder is the only real clam chowder.
4. Jellyfish fascinate me, but I wouldn’t want one dating my daughter.
5. I was paddled once in school, in the seventh grade. I didn’t die, not even a little bit.

Ten years ago, I resumed the life I had paused after my divorce and started college again, thanks to the prompting of my best friend. Ten years ago, if I had been granted a chance to glimpse my life now there is no way I’d believe it was real. Return to college, intern at the Rape Crisis Center, work for the Rape Crisis Center, meet Kimberlyn Mueller, have Vincent Daniel, get poached by Texas Association Against Sexual Assault, have Kayleigh Clarisse and just be living my best life.

When I became a hermit, I didn’t have a plan for the future. To be honest, before that I also didn’t have a plan. Be a postman, play World of Warcraft, smoke and watch movies. No thought of tomorrow.

My current life would not have happened if it wasn’t for Leo Wittnebel. Though he is no longer with us, he’s one of the reasons I am where I am. He’s keeping our garage band guitars in tune while waiting to jam again!

Is it really fair that rich people are the ones who represent us in the government?  What does a person who has been rich their whole life understand about medical bills wiping out not only your savings, but also bankrupting you?

It costs money to run for public office and if you don’t have a good plan it’s probably impossible to fundraise enough to run.

We need common people to represent us.  People who know that more than half the people they are representing would be homeless if a medical emergency happened.

I think one of the biggest ripoffs in Hollywood is the Directors Cut. I love seeing movies in the theater, but when a movie sucks, that’s it for me. I’m not giving a crappy movie a second chance just because they claim there is a better version available. Should have released that one first!

The more I think about Black Christmas, the more I hate everyone involved in it, including myself for foolishly giving them money towards the very meager amount they will be receiving after this flop disappears forever.  Still, my bad and I can only hope others learn from me.

This will contain spoilers about a movie no one should ever watch, so read on, because it seriously sucks and I want to take a deep dive into how a movie like this can fail so hard in the #metoo era.

Movie starts with a sorority house and the sisters are having a party.  One of them calls the one who isn’t there and asks where she is.  She said she’s not coming to the party because she is going home.  The girl who called states she is her secret santa and purchased her a vibrator because she had lost hers.  So edgy!

There is a guy walking behind the girl and she starts receiving weird text messages.  It appears to be coming from the guy following her, and as she preps her keys to stab him, he walks off in a different direction to go to his house.  Whew.  No murders about to happen!  She turns around and is confronted by a guy in a cloak and mask!  Gasp!  She runs through the snow to a house and knocks on the door, but no one answers.  The cloak dude isn’t anywhere to be seen!  She walks into the yard with a bunch of Christmas decorations and the cloak dude pops out from behind a bear.  She runs to another house.  She rings the doorbell, and this time someone is home.  It’s the CLOAK GUY!  He stabs her in the chest with an icicle and she dies, surprisingly there is absolutely no blood.  I now believe icicles have the power to cauterize wounds and can’t understand why more people don’t use them for murder!  So much cleaner.

It’s now the next day, and some sorority girls are waking up with hangovers.  It does not appear they are the same girls from the party scene the night before, but I’m not positive because I don’t care about any of them.

You find out that they go to a college that was founded in 1819 by a racist misogynist.  The racist part is not important later, but the misogynist part is.  Oh, and he was into black magic!  Mark that down for later!

Some random stuff happens, and you find out that the main character (I forget her name, so let’s call her Sarah!) is reserved because something bad happened.  The other girls want to get her out of her shell.  Someone has video proof that she is an awesome singer and they try to convince her to do some kind of singing competition that night but she says no.  Someone has a pretty dress they borrowed from Sarah and got it laundered and Sarah says she doesn’t wear it and doesn’t want it back, but the other girls says she will eventually and hangs it on a coat rack.  Foreshadowing!

Sarah goes to class.  This is not the first part of the movie not making sense, just an additional thing.  Today is the last day of class before the winter break.  One girl mentioned earlier that she had a final, but Sarah’s class is being lectured by Cary Elwes how women are supposed to be subservient to men.  He read something from a text book that said that and asked Sarah who she thinks wrote it.  She assumed it was a man, but no, we find out it was a woman.  No clue what religion they belonged to.  Cary Elwes’ character hints that he has a hard time teaching when there is a petition going around the school to get him fired!  The bell rings and class is dismissed.

Outside of the building, one of Sarah’s Sorority Sisters is trying to get people to sign a petition to get Cary Elwes fired.  She gets her 50^th signature.  Sarah mentions she was able to get a petition filed that removed the bust of the college founder from public view and asks why that wasn’t enough for one semester.  I too wondered that!  We never find out the answer.

Sarah and two friends then go to the coffee shop where she works.  Here is where we are introduced to a guy who seems to like Sarah.  He signs the petition.  Then he awkwardly hits on her.  It’s kind of cute though, so she learns his name.  It’s Jermaine.  He’s the only good thing in the movie.

Suddenly a bro comes in to order coffee.  He wants an iced coffee.  He then mentions some guy who has a history with Sarah is going to be in town and Sarah shuts down.  I bet this guy did something bad to her.  The bro mentions she wasn’t believed and they are going skiing together but it is consensual, so Sarah’s friend splashes water on him and he says “Keep the change” even though he didn’t give them any money for the coffee he ordered that she didn’t start making yet.

Now it’s night time, and they are at the Fraternity House where the singing competition is taking place.  Three of the sisters are wearing sexy Mrs. Clause outfits and getting pictures taken by one of their boyfriends.  They wonder aloud where the fourth girl is, and Sarah goes looking for her.  First she opens a door and see’s some kind of hazing ritual going on with the new fraternity pledges.  Then she checks another door and the girl who was missing is about to be sexually assaulted by the bro from the coffee shop.  You can tell she’s drunk or drugged, but still has the capacity to say no.  Sarah tells him to stop.  He says he doesn’t want to.  She then asks her friend if she wants her to leave and the friend doesn’t say anything so she takes it to mean no and the bro gets mad and leaves, saying something about “bitches are all teases anyway!”  I was disappointed he didn’t throw a mad sulk and say something like “I didn’t want to have sex with her anyway!”  Missed opportunity!

The drunk girl is sent home in an Uber, but now there are only 3 girls to do the song that it turns out Sarah wrote and choreographed, so her friend with the petition starts going on about how she needs to take the power back and show those guys they don’t have control over you.  She warily agrees.

Now they are introduced and bust into a terrible song and dance.  Something about being with the guys and then having sex.  All the guys cheer.  Sarah makes eye contact with the guy who was mentioned earlier and he winks at her, not sexily, but like a creep.  She freezes for a bit while the other girls dance in front of her saying encouraging things about taking back the power.  Sarah takes this to heart  Then the song changes, and Sarah starts singing about how the guy who came into town had raped her two years ago.  He had drugged her, and no one believed her.  Women cheered, but the men booed and threw paper airplanes at Sarah.  I should mention they were all drinking beer, and there were no paper airplanes alluded to previously, but judging by how much gore there was not in the movie, they probably decided fruit was too violent and couldn’t find any straws to do spit balls, so paper airplanes were created.

Jermaine was there in the fraternity house, playing DJ, even though you hear no music.  As the girls leave out the front door, laughing about how they stuck it to the man, he follows them outside, flirts awkwardly again and gets invited to go drinking with them.  Also, there is some kind of “orphan dinner” the next night.  It isn’t about eating orphans as I thought originally, but for anyone who is still on campus for winter break so they can have a family meal.  Kind of nice.  Jermaine is invited to that.

They go on to drink somewhere, with alcohol they took from the fraternity house.  In the meantime, we see the girl who was drugged packing her stuff to go home the next day.  She’s still feeling the drug effects and she goes to vomit.  When she comes back, there is a cloak guy hiding in her room.  The door closes.

Sarah receives a phone call from “No Caller ID” after receiving weird DM’s from the founder of the college, saying stuff about putting her on her knees and other dirty things.  She answers the phone and there is a bunch of garbled sounds, but then it clears up and it’s one of her sorority sisters mom’s asking if she knows where her daughter is.  She assumed the daughter was already with the mom, as she states, but the mom states that no, she isn’t.  Which makes sense, because would the mom really call asking where her daughter is just to state “You are right, she is here with me!”?  In this movie, I wouldn’t put it past them!  Sarah agrees to check the house when they get home.

The girl is nowhere to be found in the house, so Sarah goes to the security on campus and reports her friend missing.  The security guard states she isn’t missing and is probably just delayed, because security guards aren’t supposed to take things seriously when there are perfectly reasonable explanations and he’s in the middle of eating a sandwich and paperwork seems like it would be hard.  Sarah is frustrated, and says something to him.  I stopped paying attention at this point so I can’t recall what was said, but the next thing you know he has driven her to the frat house from the night before and pounds on the door.  No one is there though so he offers Sarah a ride and she declines and he leaves.

She uses the time to snoop around outside, but is caught by Cary Elwes, who, surprise, is a member of the fraternity.  He states he had promised to let the cleaning crew in while the bros were on a skiing trip, but he doesn’t remember which key on his keyring opens the door, so he grabs a rock from a plant and pulls a key out of there and opens the door.  Sarah had stated she was looking for a comb and he offers to let her go inside and look for it but she freaks out and leaves.  Cary Elwes mentions that the video from the night before (The crappy song!) was posted on Youtube and has 30k views and it is ruining the guys lives.  Sarah agrees and leaves.  She didn’t upload the video.  Her petition friend did.

While this is going on, another sorority sister is packing and trying to find the sorority cat.  She mentioned earlier that they need to feed the cat, but not as much as last year as it took her the whole year to slim the cat back down.  She checks all the rooms for the cat, but can’t find it.  The camera pans out to this wide shot of a hallway where you can see all the rooms while she looks, so you know something is gonna happen.  The cat comes out of one of the rooms she already checked and climbs under a chair.  She states “There you are” for our benefit, I assume, because the cat doesn’t need to be told.  Something happens and then cloak dude grabs her.

We later see her body on a balcony outside in the cold.  No visible trauma.  Probably another icicle murder.

Sarah yells at her petition friend that she shouldn’t have uploaded the video.  The song is fine, but at the end she offhandedly remarks “Maybe this will keep them from raping other women” and she is aghast that now everyone knows.  Not like the song straight up stated it or anything.  In this world, anything set to music is not taken seriously but remarks afterwards are.

The girl who had a boyfriend still has the boyfriend and he is sitting in the kitchen listening to them argue.  He states something about not all men.  Petition girl asks “Did you just not all men me” and he again states it isn’t fair they lump him in with rapists because he is not a rapist.  His girlfriend gets mad and kicks him out.

Now Sarah, her enabler petition friend some other girl and boyfriend girl are the only ones in the sorority house.  Boyfriend girl goes into the attic to find Christmas lights for the dinner party.  In the attic, the light doesn’t work.  That’s fine, because she knows where the lights are, and I guess her phone doesn’t have a flashlight.  She grabs a string of lights and plugs them in, but they don’t work.  She grabs another string of lights and they also don’t work.  She wonders aloud if Christmas lights expire.  She grabs a much nicer looking set of Christmas lights, and these work, but they also illuminate a cloak dude and she is strangled by Christmas lights.

Boyfriend comes back to apologize, but then he is shot to death by an arrow.  The three girls run from cloak dude and hide in a closet, but one of them had been shot in the leg with an arrow and can’t walk any more.  They had all dropped their phones and know that they need to retrieve them to call for help.  They leave the injured girl in the closet and tell her to lock the door.  They then go out to find the phones.

They hide from cloak dude in the kitchen, but he somehow silently climbs up on the counter they are hiding under and when they come out to find out where he is, he attacks them from above.  He chokes petition girl, but Sarah manages to kill him somehow.  I forget how.  It was that memorable.  Sarah looks at his face and it is the same guy who was part of the hazing ritual earlier.  He has a black triangle on his head and he isn’t bleeding real blood, but black ooze.  Suddenly another cloak dude appears!  There were two all along?

We next flash to the security guard, who receives a phone call from 911 stating there is an assault happening on campus.  He drives right out there.  It’s a different sorority house.  He goes to the door to find the women killing a cloak dude, and he pulls out his taser and is stabbed by another cloak dude.  There are now four, two each at different houses.

Sarah and Petition get into boyfriends car and start driving.  Sarah wants to go to the frat house because she is starting to think the hazing ritual was something more sinister than hazing and Petition wants to go to the police, but Sarah wisely mentions that they just killed a guy and will probably get in trouble, but petition doesn’t agree so Sarah makes her stop the car and she gets out and takes a snow shovel with her.  Petition drives on.

Sarah meets up with Jermaine, who is on his way to the orphan dinner.  She ignores him so he follows her.  They go to the frat house, and she uses the key in the rock (Cary Elwes is a bad teacher in all ways in this movie!) to let Jermaine in.  He is mad that the bros had broken his mixer board from when he was DJing and starts trashing the room.  Suddenly all the bros show up and surround him.

Sarah is knocked out from behind and wakes up tied to a chair surrounded by the bros and Cary Elwes and one of her sorority sisters.  It was the one who was almost raped the night before.  She starts talking about how women should be subservient to men and that she knows her place and believes Sarah will also agree with her.  Cary Elwes goes off on some diatribe about how women saying men rape them is ruining the world and stuff.  That is why they discovered the founder of the college had imbued his bust with magic powers to basically make people golems that would attack whoever they are told to, which is all the women who had wronged the fraternity.

A Cloak dude comes in, walks right past Sarah and kills the other girl as a demonstration for what it is capable of.  It then turns his attention to her.  They mention something about needing a physical object of the persons to activate the murder.  Then on the table you see the missing vibrator from earlier, and some other random things.  Including the comb of Sarah’s!  The bros let her up from the chair so she can bow to Cary Elwes and become subservient to all men, but she isn’t having any of that shit and she grabs the comb and scratches the guy who raped her two years ago face!  This enrages him and he pins her to the ground just as Petition comes in with all the girls from the other Sorority house and they all start attacking all the men.

While Sarah is pinned on the ground, she has flashbacks to her assault and this gives her the strength to throw the guy off of her.  She then grabs the bust of the college founder and holds it over her head.  Cary Elwes sees this and says “Wait, we can work this out!” but she disagrees and smashes it on the floor, which kills all the cloak dudes who were under the control, except Jermaine because he’s “Not all men” and this breaks the spell.  They set Cary Elwes on fire and then lock all the bros in the room with the raging fire and go outside to watch it all burn and then the movie ends.

No end credit scene, no pithy one liner, just credits.

By typing this all out I hope to eradicate the movie from my brain.  I don’t ever remember this amount of detail from any movie, so this is especially heinous!  Again, don’t ever see it!

She’s so great!  She sleeps like an angel, except when she decides my side of the bed is the good one!